We’re All Mad Here

Posted: 17 March, 2018 in Depression, Despair, Suicide, Trigger Warning
Tags: ,

‘“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked. “Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”’—Lewis Carroll, “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland”

One of the greatest coping skills I learned after yet another failed suicide attempt (have you ever had a tube inserted in your nose and snaked down to your stomach as part of a gastric lavage?) was something I realized when my therapist told me: “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

The realization—or rather, the skill—was so simple I was amazed that I hadn’t thought of it before was this: when things get so dark that I start to consider simply ending it all, I put on my headphones, fire up iTunes on my laptop, and put George Harrison on a loop. All Things Must Pass is my mantra. I listen to it over and over again until finally, I believe it.

The other realization changed my entire outlook on life in general and my lifelong chronic depression. This time it was something I read:

The question we should be asking is not “What’s wrong with you?” Rather, we should be asking “What happened to you?”

That changed my perspective from “What did I do to deserve this?” to “What caused this to happen to me?” And even then, it took a much longer time to drop the “to me” and stop looking at myself as a victim.

I am not a “victim of depression;” I am a survivor. I now approach this struggle in much the same way practitioners of Aikido approach their opponents: find your enemy’s strength—in this case, his energy—and turn it against him.

I’ve spent years discovering my enemy’s strengths. Knowing them, I have learned how to turn them against what Churchill called his “black dog,” and what Rowling put a face to with the Dementors.

The result? Between those two realizations, new medications, and therapy, it’s been over 3 years since my last suicide attempt, and 2 years since I’ve had even so much as a thought of harming myself.

We may be, as the Cheshire Cat claims, “all mad here.” But that’s no reason we can’t fight back. That’s no reason we can’t be mental health ninjas.


Do you suffer from depression? Do you have thoughts of self-harm? Of suicide? You can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1–800–273–8255. Even though I’m on the mend, I still keep the number on speed dial.

Comments are closed.


AMA NEwsInfo

news from around

Little Fears

Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes

Amaan Khan

Hello, I am Amaan Khan and this is my complete Portfolio | Weekly fiction and personal writings | New post every Thursday, without fail

This Beautiful Life

Find yourself, and be just that

The Nerdy Lion

Lions can wear glasses too

Elan Mudrow

Smidgens

...

love each other like you are the lyric and they are the music

Dread Poets Sobriety

Irreverence's Glittering New Low!

The Bipolar Writer Mental Health Blog

A Collaborative Mental Health Blog

Inmate Blogger

A Collection of Blogs Written By Men & Women In Prison

UndeniablySara

Learning how to live well with chronic illnesses through self healing.

Rachel Page

Mental Health Coach

James Harrington's Blog of Geek and Writing

All Things Writing and Geek, in one neat little blog!

Memoir Of A Writer

perfecting language on paper

Destiny Tuning Secret

Manifestation Miracles Today

Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha

Musings and books from a grunty overthinker

raynotbradbury

Creative Writing. Book Reviews. Adult Humour.

tonysbologna : Honest. Satirical. Observations.

Honest. Satirical. Observations.

A R C H I P E L A G A L

islands and in between

Success Inspirers' World

Achievers and Inspirers

A Blocked Writer's Blog

Because We've All Been There

Georgie The Sissy

A SecondLife Blog

Paper Fury

read. write. world domination

Visions And Journeys

Traveling Through The Weirdness That's My Life

LEXIE CANNES STATE OF TRANS

Rational thinking and reporting on all things transgender

BlogPad Pro

The most professional WordPress blogging app for your iPad

Fuel My Family

Keeping my family healthy, keeping my family happy

ice cream magazine

................... for lovers of ice cream. Your free on line magazine for sweet frozen treats. Recipes, inspiration, artisanal ideas for your delectation.

Bunny Kitchen

Exploring the possibilities of cruelty free food

Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.

Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.

Just Your Everyday TransGirl

Battling The Dementors Since Birth

Frederica Cade's Blog

Just another WordPress.com weblog

joslynalana

More Girl Than Dead

Kira Moore's Closet

Ever Moving Forward

Women Born Transsexual

Women born with transsexualism

Trans* Cister

Jody Ann Malsbury

Matt Kailey's Tranifesto

Transgender & Transsexual Issues, Information, Advice, & Opinion

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

%d bloggers like this: